Our dossier has been sent to Wash DC for authentication.
Should take a week and then it is off to ET!!
L
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Off to the races!
Today I mailed our I600A (Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition) out to the US Citizenship and Immigration Service/Homeland Security!
The next step in that process will be getting fingerprinted. Once they reviewed our I-600A, and our fingerprints have cleared and our home study reviewed, the Immigration Service will send us an I-71H. The I71H is officially called the, “Notice of Favorable Determination Concerning Application for Advance Procession of an Orphan Petition”. It can take 2-4 months to get the I71H. Here's hoping it is on the low end of the spectrum.
Talked to Susan, the Ethiopia Director at our agency, we have changed our plans a bit and now would like a toddler girl between 12-24mos. She said we are 7th in line and 5th in line for an infant girl. But where we have shifted off of wanting an infant, we may be higher. There is no way to tell how long it will take.
Most likely our dossier will official be complete on Tuesday and sent out for authentication.
Enjoy the weekend!
L
The next step in that process will be getting fingerprinted. Once they reviewed our I-600A, and our fingerprints have cleared and our home study reviewed, the Immigration Service will send us an I-71H. The I71H is officially called the, “Notice of Favorable Determination Concerning Application for Advance Procession of an Orphan Petition”. It can take 2-4 months to get the I71H. Here's hoping it is on the low end of the spectrum.
Talked to Susan, the Ethiopia Director at our agency, we have changed our plans a bit and now would like a toddler girl between 12-24mos. She said we are 7th in line and 5th in line for an infant girl. But where we have shifted off of wanting an infant, we may be higher. There is no way to tell how long it will take.
Most likely our dossier will official be complete on Tuesday and sent out for authentication.
Enjoy the weekend!
L
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
It is in the mail
Final home study is on its way. Pretty happy about that.
Celebrated by buying this:
And this:
On Etsy.com. If you haven't heard of Etsy, you are really missing out!
L
Celebrated by buying this:
And this:
On Etsy.com. If you haven't heard of Etsy, you are really missing out!
L
Monday, September 21, 2009
Finally!!
Well our Placement Agency, has finally gotten their second review of our draft home study done!! Yahoo! You'd think we were doing something really difficult considering all the mishaps along the way. Now my social worker will finish it up and we can:
This is a first big step!
L
- File our I600A with Homeland Security to start the immigration process (2-4 mos.).
- Send our completed Dossier to Wash DC for authentication (2 wks).
This is a first big step!
L
Sunday, September 20, 2009
A night out with my Mom
I have been wanting to try Ethiopian food.
Actually, I have been wanting to experience eating Ethiopian food because it is more than interesting spicy dishes, it is an entirely different way of eating too. The food is served communally, dished out onto a large platter in the middle of a table for everyone to eat. With your hands. Yup. Uh huh.
DH was in Maine doing home maintenance, A was sick so I called my Ma to see, long-shot, if she was interested. She was! I love it. Grandma is one cool chick.
We grew up eating steak, chops and potatoes, Italian food. Chinese was Moo Goo Gai Pan. We would drive 30 miles to get something called bagels and bialis. Wow, now that was some interesting stuff! I remember when my my mother read about an authentic Szechuan restaurant, first of its kind, opening up in Fresh Pond and we went!! We had never seen anything like this, certainly not tasted anything like this. We were kids, maybe 8, 10, and this was an entirely different thing.
So my Mom has always been a bit of a food pioneer. At an age when people like her are eating a "nice piece of fish and some mashed", my Mom has been trying new foods. First there was the kalbi and kimchi at a Korean restaurant. Then there was a really traditional Chinese restaurant. A real burrito joint in Cambridge, horchata and all. Salvadorean, check. A Peruvian hole in the wall with loud music, dancing, singing (not part of the restaurant per se, just some really "happy" customers), check, check. So last night I met her in Cambridge at 7:30 (she has a navigator now and is fearless!) and we tried Ethiopian food.
The restaurant was packed. Two floors. It consisted of low little straw tables called "mesobs" that are shaped like an hourglass with a conical lid. They are brightly colored, not too large and are surrounded by wooden chairs. Here is a picture (I couldn't resist using one with a cute little girl in it!)
The waitresses had on traditional Ethiopian white gauze-like embroidered dresses. The menu was varied--most dishes are stew-like--spicy meats, chicken, beef, lamb; many vegetables too. We started with beef Sambusas (sort of like empanadas) and a chick pea dip with bread. Then we got a combination platter of chicken, beef, lamb stews, some stewed greens and salad. It looked like this--
The food is spooned onto a platter that has a large pancake-like bread, called Injera, on it. This spongey soft bread is made from the grain Teff and has a slightly sour taste. More Injera was served on the side. You eat by taking a piece of the bread between thumb and fingers and "pinching" a mouthful of food between it. Injera is gooood. We liked the dishes and ate it all. My favorite dish was the Doro Wat, a spicy chicken stew.
It was fun, and my Mom enjoyed the experience, saying that now she really has tried everything.
Well, not everything.
Tonight we take her for sushi.
L
Actually, I have been wanting to experience eating Ethiopian food because it is more than interesting spicy dishes, it is an entirely different way of eating too. The food is served communally, dished out onto a large platter in the middle of a table for everyone to eat. With your hands. Yup. Uh huh.
DH was in Maine doing home maintenance, A was sick so I called my Ma to see, long-shot, if she was interested. She was! I love it. Grandma is one cool chick.
We grew up eating steak, chops and potatoes, Italian food. Chinese was Moo Goo Gai Pan. We would drive 30 miles to get something called bagels and bialis. Wow, now that was some interesting stuff! I remember when my my mother read about an authentic Szechuan restaurant, first of its kind, opening up in Fresh Pond and we went!! We had never seen anything like this, certainly not tasted anything like this. We were kids, maybe 8, 10, and this was an entirely different thing.
So my Mom has always been a bit of a food pioneer. At an age when people like her are eating a "nice piece of fish and some mashed", my Mom has been trying new foods. First there was the kalbi and kimchi at a Korean restaurant. Then there was a really traditional Chinese restaurant. A real burrito joint in Cambridge, horchata and all. Salvadorean, check. A Peruvian hole in the wall with loud music, dancing, singing (not part of the restaurant per se, just some really "happy" customers), check, check. So last night I met her in Cambridge at 7:30 (she has a navigator now and is fearless!) and we tried Ethiopian food.
The restaurant was packed. Two floors. It consisted of low little straw tables called "mesobs" that are shaped like an hourglass with a conical lid. They are brightly colored, not too large and are surrounded by wooden chairs. Here is a picture (I couldn't resist using one with a cute little girl in it!)
The waitresses had on traditional Ethiopian white gauze-like embroidered dresses. The menu was varied--most dishes are stew-like--spicy meats, chicken, beef, lamb; many vegetables too. We started with beef Sambusas (sort of like empanadas) and a chick pea dip with bread. Then we got a combination platter of chicken, beef, lamb stews, some stewed greens and salad. It looked like this--
The food is spooned onto a platter that has a large pancake-like bread, called Injera, on it. This spongey soft bread is made from the grain Teff and has a slightly sour taste. More Injera was served on the side. You eat by taking a piece of the bread between thumb and fingers and "pinching" a mouthful of food between it. Injera is gooood. We liked the dishes and ate it all. My favorite dish was the Doro Wat, a spicy chicken stew.
It was fun, and my Mom enjoyed the experience, saying that now she really has tried everything.
Well, not everything.
Tonight we take her for sushi.
L
Monday, September 14, 2009
Vertical again
Man, was I sick. Again. For the second time this year flat out, fever, bronchitis, congestion, cough. Blah. This one only lasted 1.5 weeks. Don't know what is going on, I never get sick really and certainly not like this. The doc ruled out the swine flu but as long as I had fever I was not allowed at work.
We are all getting excited that some day soon we will have a new family member. A's job as a future role model is the big topic. I'd like to see him kick that off with room cleanliness starting now. Or weeding the flower beds. That would be a fabulous example to set. Meanwhile he is loving his new school and being a freshman in high school. He is making friends, and promises us that everyone laughs at his jokes in class. Yeah son, about that...
I am starting to think about decorating the nursery and I have to say this out loud-- NO PASTELS! No. Not going there. I want bold colors. We still have A's crib and changing table--we never lost hope--they are light wood and will work well. I am loving the idea of fuchsia, orange, sunflower yellow. I have a couple yards of a fabric I bought in high school that I loved and used for curtains in my dorm room in college, that is my jumping off point. But I also want to paint a large graphic flower on the wall too. And a thick white shag rug! Totally retro.
Her bathroom is currently navy blue and white and as much as I would love to have John change the tile, my man is excellent at laying tile, it just won't crack his top 50 things that need doing so I won't bother. I will find a way to make navy blue work for a girl's bathroom. But first the wallpaper. We aren't fans of wallpaper so that will come off.
Then I am very interested in this new wall decal trend--really cool and fun designs that you just adhere to the wall, non-permanently. I found a cute whimsical design that I like and it does have navy but also pulls in other colors. Fun but not too juvenile. Shown on left.
No movement on our paperwork. Alas. The home study is stuck in revision mode waiting for comments on the second draft from our adoption agency. Otherwise the entire dossier is assembled and ready to go for authentication and translation. Sure, we are impatient but when you think about the difference a couple days or weeks makes to a poorly nourished child you wonder if they can find the time to look over the 6 pgs of the second draft...
L
We are all getting excited that some day soon we will have a new family member. A's job as a future role model is the big topic. I'd like to see him kick that off with room cleanliness starting now. Or weeding the flower beds. That would be a fabulous example to set. Meanwhile he is loving his new school and being a freshman in high school. He is making friends, and promises us that everyone laughs at his jokes in class. Yeah son, about that...
I am starting to think about decorating the nursery and I have to say this out loud-- NO PASTELS! No. Not going there. I want bold colors. We still have A's crib and changing table--we never lost hope--they are light wood and will work well. I am loving the idea of fuchsia, orange, sunflower yellow. I have a couple yards of a fabric I bought in high school that I loved and used for curtains in my dorm room in college, that is my jumping off point. But I also want to paint a large graphic flower on the wall too. And a thick white shag rug! Totally retro.
Her bathroom is currently navy blue and white and as much as I would love to have John change the tile, my man is excellent at laying tile, it just won't crack his top 50 things that need doing so I won't bother. I will find a way to make navy blue work for a girl's bathroom. But first the wallpaper. We aren't fans of wallpaper so that will come off.
Then I am very interested in this new wall decal trend--really cool and fun designs that you just adhere to the wall, non-permanently. I found a cute whimsical design that I like and it does have navy but also pulls in other colors. Fun but not too juvenile. Shown on left.No movement on our paperwork. Alas. The home study is stuck in revision mode waiting for comments on the second draft from our adoption agency. Otherwise the entire dossier is assembled and ready to go for authentication and translation. Sure, we are impatient but when you think about the difference a couple days or weeks makes to a poorly nourished child you wonder if they can find the time to look over the 6 pgs of the second draft...
L
Friday, September 4, 2009
A few disclaimers
ET???
Well, it seems I have created a bit of confusion and controversy with the name for the blog. My husband and son won't let me live it down. I can see why.
An explanation: ET is a commonly used abbreviation for Ethiopia. I was trying to use a play on words with the classic unforgettable line "ET go home" from E.T. the movie. By playing off the phrase but meaning EThiopia I was trying to make something catchy, something that was memorable but also meaningful. I meant that we are bringing "Ethiopia" home, a little bit of Ethiopia: a child, but also a culture, a responsibility to help in the future. In no way did I mean that our new little daughter is an alien or extraterrestrial! I guess naming her Elliott is right out then?
Also, in our home, Home Depot is referred to as Home "Despot" as my husband thinks it rules his life. Go figure! Sometimes keeping three houses up does take its toll.
Truth is we are now in the "waiting time" and this helps me do something while I wait. It also puts answers to some common questions all in one place. I can also use some of this in her Lifebook, more on that later.
Enjoy Labor Day weekend!
L
Well, it seems I have created a bit of confusion and controversy with the name for the blog. My husband and son won't let me live it down. I can see why.
An explanation: ET is a commonly used abbreviation for Ethiopia. I was trying to use a play on words with the classic unforgettable line "ET go home" from E.T. the movie. By playing off the phrase but meaning EThiopia I was trying to make something catchy, something that was memorable but also meaningful. I meant that we are bringing "Ethiopia" home, a little bit of Ethiopia: a child, but also a culture, a responsibility to help in the future. In no way did I mean that our new little daughter is an alien or extraterrestrial! I guess naming her Elliott is right out then?
Also, in our home, Home Depot is referred to as Home "Despot" as my husband thinks it rules his life. Go figure! Sometimes keeping three houses up does take its toll.
Truth is we are now in the "waiting time" and this helps me do something while I wait. It also puts answers to some common questions all in one place. I can also use some of this in her Lifebook, more on that later.
Enjoy Labor Day weekend!
L
Thursday, September 3, 2009
The Big Tuna
Turns out cash for clunkers came at a great time for the L Family. Have clunker, will travel! Sort of.
Our old Jeep, a clunker in the best sense of the word had served us well, dump runs in Lincoln, putting the boat in and out, Home Despot and Costco, had been taking on water. Yup. One of those windshield replacement jobs, you know the kind they do in your driveway, didn't quite take. The Jeep now had inches of standing water in it and no bilge pump. Now that we moved to Concord we don't have to haul our garbage so, it was time for ole Jeepy to leave the fold.
No one likes to buy cars more than me and John and we spent a few evenings going through the website they set up as part of the program looking for a car that would qualify, the whole gambit relied on trading up for mileage. But what did we need?
Turns out at the same time we were beginning to feel the pinch in the Lexus. A, darn him, had grown 8" in the last two years and wasn't loving the 6hrs a weekend heading to Maine in the back seat any more. But the thing that really sealed the deal was this. No one, certainly not me and A, thinks for one minute that we come before Ranger in terms of John's affections. When Skyler grew to be the big boy he is, Ranger stopped loving his ride to Maine in the back of the SUV. I mean really. He belongs in the front seat anyway.
Picture it--
A large cat carrier full of loud cats.
A large brown dog with no sense of personal space (Skyler).
A yellow dog with a sense of entitlement.
Suddenly Ranger would not lay down in the back. It became a comedy act every time we tried to load the beasts into the car. Cats first. Then Ranger. Then Skyler, and he has to be lifted because well, he doesn't do jumping. As soon as Skyler got in Ranger would jump the seat and take the back seat leaving no room for A. Pull him out put him in the back and the whole thing repeats. It got so that A had to get in first and run a clever defense that he got from Belichick. In the end nothing worked so we started having to put a back seat down so Ranger & Co. could fit comfortably. But now where was a new baby going to go? Truth is, with the place in Maine we like A to bring friends up, the place is dedicated to kids and fun. With two kids, we needed a third row seat for friends anyway. No way was this going to work.
Now comes the word that strikes fear in car lovers everywhere.
Minivan.
Man, were we going there?
Well, you can't argue with the physics. They provide lots of room, they move a lot of people. Mileage not too bad. But style? J drove a 1967 MG for years, I got the sizzling hot, red Alfa Romeo. Then the old classic Saab we loved. Even the Jeep is a modern day classic. A minivan?
Well, turns out there are men everywhere that consider minivans the ultimate ball and chain to their masculinity. The one that really takes them down and signals that they no longer hunt & gather, they ferry. Ferry kids and wives to shopping and soccer and shopping and baseball and playdates. So the "Crossover" was invented! Yay! Crossovers provide most of the functionality of a minivan but look a little more like their off-road (as if!) cousins the SUV. Ok, a Crossover then, that will do the trick.
So what Crossover?
Well, we both have a fondness for the clean, square, flat, boxy look of old Jeeps, and the old Woody Wagon makes me swoon. So utilitarian, so straight forward.
Well, it might end up being the new Pacer, but Ford has reinterpreted the old Woody Wagon, with a touch of the old Country Squire thrown in and created the, ahem, one of a kind, Flex.
Square, check.
Flat, clean lines, check.
Roomy, check, check.
Tons of leg room and STILL enough space for our animal kingdom, check.
Third row seat not sized for Smurfs, yup.
Mileage is as good as the Lexus, is AWD and can tow the boat. Done and done!
Groves along the sides to simulate wood.
A nice looking rear.
Comes with a cool white roof making it look like a "Mini-Cooper on steroids" (thanks for the line A!), except this one did not come with, so I want to get it done after market.
I call it the big tuna.
There are a few things Ds like to do but few as much as swinging a deal for a car. One of the things my Dad excelled at was grinding car dealers down to a nub. Once he took one of his buddies, Tony, and they got the price down so low that we started calling them car thieves. As a result, we were taught from a young age that you do not pay more than a token amount over invoice and if you pay for the mats, admin fees, doc fees, you better not come home as the locks will be changed. My brother Joe is very good at this. I am pretty sure that there are pictures of him posted in backrooms of dealerships across New England. It got to be a source of lively rivalry in our home-- who got the better deals. I am going to tell you who. Me. I get the best deals. J eats my dust. J2, we don't send him in alone; and DH, please, we have to leave him home after the unfortunate luxury package incident at the Jeep dealership. Something uttered only sotto voce in our home is the time he told me I hadn't "paid the guy enough, didn't I have a heart?" He's Canadian. We love him, but he doesn't buy the cars.
The Ford was had for a sweetheart deal, cash for clunkers, below invoice, mats were free and NO FEES. My dad would be proud and Joe has to play catch-up.
So now we have room for two kids, two dogs, two cats, gear and my huge ego!
L
P.S. Wanna buy a Lexus? Dog hair FOC.
Our old Jeep, a clunker in the best sense of the word had served us well, dump runs in Lincoln, putting the boat in and out, Home Despot and Costco, had been taking on water. Yup. One of those windshield replacement jobs, you know the kind they do in your driveway, didn't quite take. The Jeep now had inches of standing water in it and no bilge pump. Now that we moved to Concord we don't have to haul our garbage so, it was time for ole Jeepy to leave the fold.
No one likes to buy cars more than me and John and we spent a few evenings going through the website they set up as part of the program looking for a car that would qualify, the whole gambit relied on trading up for mileage. But what did we need?
Turns out at the same time we were beginning to feel the pinch in the Lexus. A, darn him, had grown 8" in the last two years and wasn't loving the 6hrs a weekend heading to Maine in the back seat any more. But the thing that really sealed the deal was this. No one, certainly not me and A, thinks for one minute that we come before Ranger in terms of John's affections. When Skyler grew to be the big boy he is, Ranger stopped loving his ride to Maine in the back of the SUV. I mean really. He belongs in the front seat anyway.
Picture it--
A large cat carrier full of loud cats.
A large brown dog with no sense of personal space (Skyler).
A yellow dog with a sense of entitlement.
Suddenly Ranger would not lay down in the back. It became a comedy act every time we tried to load the beasts into the car. Cats first. Then Ranger. Then Skyler, and he has to be lifted because well, he doesn't do jumping. As soon as Skyler got in Ranger would jump the seat and take the back seat leaving no room for A. Pull him out put him in the back and the whole thing repeats. It got so that A had to get in first and run a clever defense that he got from Belichick. In the end nothing worked so we started having to put a back seat down so Ranger & Co. could fit comfortably. But now where was a new baby going to go? Truth is, with the place in Maine we like A to bring friends up, the place is dedicated to kids and fun. With two kids, we needed a third row seat for friends anyway. No way was this going to work.
Now comes the word that strikes fear in car lovers everywhere.
Minivan.
Man, were we going there?
Well, you can't argue with the physics. They provide lots of room, they move a lot of people. Mileage not too bad. But style? J drove a 1967 MG for years, I got the sizzling hot, red Alfa Romeo. Then the old classic Saab we loved. Even the Jeep is a modern day classic. A minivan?
Well, turns out there are men everywhere that consider minivans the ultimate ball and chain to their masculinity. The one that really takes them down and signals that they no longer hunt & gather, they ferry. Ferry kids and wives to shopping and soccer and shopping and baseball and playdates. So the "Crossover" was invented! Yay! Crossovers provide most of the functionality of a minivan but look a little more like their off-road (as if!) cousins the SUV. Ok, a Crossover then, that will do the trick.
So what Crossover?
Well, we both have a fondness for the clean, square, flat, boxy look of old Jeeps, and the old Woody Wagon makes me swoon. So utilitarian, so straight forward.
Well, it might end up being the new Pacer, but Ford has reinterpreted the old Woody Wagon, with a touch of the old Country Squire thrown in and created the, ahem, one of a kind, Flex.
Square, check.Flat, clean lines, check.
Roomy, check, check.
Tons of leg room and STILL enough space for our animal kingdom, check.
Third row seat not sized for Smurfs, yup.
Mileage is as good as the Lexus, is AWD and can tow the boat. Done and done!
Groves along the sides to simulate wood.
A nice looking rear.
Comes with a cool white roof making it look like a "Mini-Cooper on steroids" (thanks for the line A!), except this one did not come with, so I want to get it done after market.
I call it the big tuna.
There are a few things Ds like to do but few as much as swinging a deal for a car. One of the things my Dad excelled at was grinding car dealers down to a nub. Once he took one of his buddies, Tony, and they got the price down so low that we started calling them car thieves. As a result, we were taught from a young age that you do not pay more than a token amount over invoice and if you pay for the mats, admin fees, doc fees, you better not come home as the locks will be changed. My brother Joe is very good at this. I am pretty sure that there are pictures of him posted in backrooms of dealerships across New England. It got to be a source of lively rivalry in our home-- who got the better deals. I am going to tell you who. Me. I get the best deals. J eats my dust. J2, we don't send him in alone; and DH, please, we have to leave him home after the unfortunate luxury package incident at the Jeep dealership. Something uttered only sotto voce in our home is the time he told me I hadn't "paid the guy enough, didn't I have a heart?" He's Canadian. We love him, but he doesn't buy the cars.
The Ford was had for a sweetheart deal, cash for clunkers, below invoice, mats were free and NO FEES. My dad would be proud and Joe has to play catch-up.
So now we have room for two kids, two dogs, two cats, gear and my huge ego!
L
P.S. Wanna buy a Lexus? Dog hair FOC.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Off we go!
Well, here we are.
After long family discussions and a great 4th of July on our dock looking at the water, the loons, and thinking, "this is great, we have fun, we should share" we have decided to plunge into the international adoption waters to adopt a child. A daughter! From Ethiopia!
Why??
We love our little family, but we always meant to add to it. A is a great kid and will be a terrific big brother. Options for us at this point would have involved a purchased egg and IVF. While flipping through books of gorgeous college students selling eggs might have seemed like fun it also made us think--is it selfish to want that slim genetic, (i.e. only paternal), tie?
With the crisis in Ethiopia, there are so many orphans in need of loving families. It is simply heartbreaking. It did not take much to put these two things together. Plus, we were genuinely affected by our trip to South Africa. It is astonishing how utterly beautiful it is there and at the same time utterly astonishing how deep and pervasive the poverty is as well. It feels right to us to be adopting from Africa. We became energized by the feeling that we can solve our need as well as the need of a child. It won't be easy, we know, but more on that in later posts.
It turns out that the Ethiopia adoption program is all the things we need from an operational perspective too:
So what is the process?
Choose adoption agency > Get home study done > Prepare dossier; File immigration docs in US > Authenticate dossier > Send dossier to ET & Translate > Get child referral > Accept referral > Get immigration approval from US > Get court date in ET > Get US embassy date > Go to ET and bring your child home!
Choose an agency: First we researched agencies that work with Ethiopia. We decided on a terrific, ethical, small outfit. They seem to have few, if any, glitches in ET. Glitches add time, lots of time. No customer complaints that I could find. And they are FAST. I think this is because they have a meticulous QC process and the dossier is exactly what is needed by officials in ET. Also they have relationships with several orphanages there and, the sad truth, access to a great deal of orphans. The personnel, both stateside and in ET, appear to genuinely care about the kids. The kids adopted by other families through Illien seem to do well once here. Lastly, they do "soft-referrals", more on this below but this was important to us.
Get home study done: Where we chose an agency, we had to find a local agency in MA to do the home study. The home study is a process where we as parents and family get checked out by a social worker--criminal, financial, medical, parenting, immigration, housing, backgrounds, extended family. A lot of paperwork, several interviews. House tour, references (thanks guys!). No surprise that the social workers LOVED Little Linty. He did us proud and he didn't charge us too much so that was good. {2 mos}
Prepare dossier: The home study and a lot more documentation form the "dossier"--the official file that goes to Ethiopia and is the basis of our application to adopt. A lot of the same docs that were required by the home study go in here, but notarized and even apostilled (ask John what that means), as well as a letter from us to the Ethiopian Ministry of Women's Affairs explaining why we chose ET and what we plan to do to keep our adopted child's culture a part of her life. {2 mos, in parallel with home study}
US Immigration: The home study goes to the US Dept of Homeland Security first and then, if ok'd, US Immigration for approval to bring a foreign national into the US as a citizen. Of course along the way we get fingerprinted too so Big Brother will have us the database. Funny how they work that in... {approval takes 2mos +2mos, in parallel with translating and sending the dossier to ET}
Translate and authenticate the dossier: The dossier goes to Wash D.C. to get ready for sending to ET. {2 wks}
Send dossier to ET: Once "in-country" with our agency we are eligible and available for a " soft referral".
So what is a referral?
Well, you don't "pick out your child". Actually maybe you could if you want to travel there and go orphanage to orphanage but that isn't how it usually works. Instead, a child is "referred" to you. The whole adoption process is not about finding the best child for you, or the one you think you want; it is about finding the best family for a given child. As part of our home study we have indicated what sort of child we are looking for: age, health, gender and it is within these parameters that the agency works.
Get a referral: Once the agency and in-country people believe they have found a child that will be best placed with your family they "refer" the child to you. This child could be at a state run orphanage having been relinquished or simply abandoned and found; it could be still living with a parent or extended family unable to continue caring for the child. Included in the referral are photos, perhaps a video, medical info including tests run for a panel of diseases and dental, behavioral and growth assessment, social info. You can choose to pass. You can travel to meet her before accepting, you can bring in another doctor for another opinion. Depending on where she is, other parents in the adoption process along with you may have met her.
Accept a referral: Once you accept a referral you can send supplies, clothes. You get more info every month. Then the court date in ET courts is requested.
Court in ET: Once you have an accepted referral it takes up to two months to get a court date in ET. You must have cleared immigration to go to court, but not to request the date. Court is where the child becomes legally yours in ET and the US. You don't need to be there. Once you pass court you request...
A US Embassy Date!!: This often takes another 4-6wks and you must travel to be there, pick up your child, and go get her US passport, then you fly home!
So where in the process are we? Well today I will send in the last bits of our dossier to Illien. Hopefully our home study will be complete and in their hands early next week too. Then our dossier is off to be translated and our application to US Homeland Security goes in!
L
After long family discussions and a great 4th of July on our dock looking at the water, the loons, and thinking, "this is great, we have fun, we should share" we have decided to plunge into the international adoption waters to adopt a child. A daughter! From Ethiopia!
Why??
We love our little family, but we always meant to add to it. A is a great kid and will be a terrific big brother. Options for us at this point would have involved a purchased egg and IVF. While flipping through books of gorgeous college students selling eggs might have seemed like fun it also made us think--is it selfish to want that slim genetic, (i.e. only paternal), tie?
With the crisis in Ethiopia, there are so many orphans in need of loving families. It is simply heartbreaking. It did not take much to put these two things together. Plus, we were genuinely affected by our trip to South Africa. It is astonishing how utterly beautiful it is there and at the same time utterly astonishing how deep and pervasive the poverty is as well. It feels right to us to be adopting from Africa. We became energized by the feeling that we can solve our need as well as the need of a child. It won't be easy, we know, but more on that in later posts.
It turns out that the Ethiopia adoption program is all the things we need from an operational perspective too:
- open to ages of prospective parents, after all Big Linty is pushing 50!
- relatively fast, see above
- growing, so there will be other families to link up with as we raise our daughter
- has children of all ages
So what is the process?
Choose adoption agency > Get home study done > Prepare dossier; File immigration docs in US > Authenticate dossier > Send dossier to ET & Translate > Get child referral > Accept referral > Get immigration approval from US > Get court date in ET > Get US embassy date > Go to ET and bring your child home!
Choose an agency: First we researched agencies that work with Ethiopia. We decided on a terrific, ethical, small outfit. They seem to have few, if any, glitches in ET. Glitches add time, lots of time. No customer complaints that I could find. And they are FAST. I think this is because they have a meticulous QC process and the dossier is exactly what is needed by officials in ET. Also they have relationships with several orphanages there and, the sad truth, access to a great deal of orphans. The personnel, both stateside and in ET, appear to genuinely care about the kids. The kids adopted by other families through Illien seem to do well once here. Lastly, they do "soft-referrals", more on this below but this was important to us.
Get home study done: Where we chose an agency, we had to find a local agency in MA to do the home study. The home study is a process where we as parents and family get checked out by a social worker--criminal, financial, medical, parenting, immigration, housing, backgrounds, extended family. A lot of paperwork, several interviews. House tour, references (thanks guys!). No surprise that the social workers LOVED Little Linty. He did us proud and he didn't charge us too much so that was good. {2 mos}
Prepare dossier: The home study and a lot more documentation form the "dossier"--the official file that goes to Ethiopia and is the basis of our application to adopt. A lot of the same docs that were required by the home study go in here, but notarized and even apostilled (ask John what that means), as well as a letter from us to the Ethiopian Ministry of Women's Affairs explaining why we chose ET and what we plan to do to keep our adopted child's culture a part of her life. {2 mos, in parallel with home study}
US Immigration: The home study goes to the US Dept of Homeland Security first and then, if ok'd, US Immigration for approval to bring a foreign national into the US as a citizen. Of course along the way we get fingerprinted too so Big Brother will have us the database. Funny how they work that in... {approval takes 2mos +2mos, in parallel with translating and sending the dossier to ET}
Translate and authenticate the dossier: The dossier goes to Wash D.C. to get ready for sending to ET. {2 wks}
Send dossier to ET: Once "in-country" with our agency we are eligible and available for a " soft referral".
So what is a referral?
Well, you don't "pick out your child". Actually maybe you could if you want to travel there and go orphanage to orphanage but that isn't how it usually works. Instead, a child is "referred" to you. The whole adoption process is not about finding the best child for you, or the one you think you want; it is about finding the best family for a given child. As part of our home study we have indicated what sort of child we are looking for: age, health, gender and it is within these parameters that the agency works.
Get a referral: Once the agency and in-country people believe they have found a child that will be best placed with your family they "refer" the child to you. This child could be at a state run orphanage having been relinquished or simply abandoned and found; it could be still living with a parent or extended family unable to continue caring for the child. Included in the referral are photos, perhaps a video, medical info including tests run for a panel of diseases and dental, behavioral and growth assessment, social info. You can choose to pass. You can travel to meet her before accepting, you can bring in another doctor for another opinion. Depending on where she is, other parents in the adoption process along with you may have met her.
Accept a referral: Once you accept a referral you can send supplies, clothes. You get more info every month. Then the court date in ET courts is requested.
Court in ET: Once you have an accepted referral it takes up to two months to get a court date in ET. You must have cleared immigration to go to court, but not to request the date. Court is where the child becomes legally yours in ET and the US. You don't need to be there. Once you pass court you request...
A US Embassy Date!!: This often takes another 4-6wks and you must travel to be there, pick up your child, and go get her US passport, then you fly home!
So where in the process are we? Well today I will send in the last bits of our dossier to Illien. Hopefully our home study will be complete and in their hands early next week too. Then our dossier is off to be translated and our application to US Homeland Security goes in!
L
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